In which I disavow hotness

Straight men should date a few really hot girls early in adulthood so that they can blithely turn their backs on hotness ever after. Once you've had a prolonged relationship with a hot woman, you will never have quite the same reaction to hotness, and it frees you up to be much more sensible about such things in the future.

(1) No matter how hot she is -- no matter how far your jaw dropped and your tongue protruded the first time you saw her -- it will wear off. You don't realize this if you only ogle hot women from afar, but trust me, there will come a time when the hotness is more or less invisible to you most of the time. At which point you are paying attention to character and personality and intellect, which are no more likely to be compatible with yours than with an average-looking woman.

(2) Hot women put a lot of effort and a fair amount of money into looking hot. The payoff is both feeling good about themselves and getting attention from men, which also makes them feel good. There's nothing wrong with this. But being hot is a talent, like being able to tango or play guitar or hit home runs. If you put a lot of time and effort into developing a talent, you like to be able to use it as frequently as possible. The use to which one puts "being hot" is: attracting members of the opposite sex. Thus, a hot girl in a steady, monogamous relationship has a much reduced incentive to continue to be hot. And her boyfriend has an increased basis for jealousy. This is neither rational nor fair, but let's face it, relationships are rarely rational and never fair.

(3) After you date a hot woman or two, your reaction to hot women changes. You still look. You still have an aesthetic appreciation and physiological reaction to hot women. But you have a much reduced desire to approach them simply for their hotness. It is much easier to say "no" to a hot woman once you've gotten it out of your system.

My advice to my son is that he chase really hot women (or men, if that turns out to be the case) in college so that by the time he's old enough for marriage, he'll be able to make a much more sensible decision not based upon looks. And will be much less likely to cheat on his partner simply because of an unsatisfied lust for hotness.